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CPAC, FFRW, and P5

2011-09-25T16:59:00.004-04:00

CPAC, FFRW, and P5

This weekend, a very unusual series of events took place in Orlando, Florida. The Florida Federation of Republican Women held their biennial convention on 9/22 and 9/23. Presidency 5 hosted the Fox News/Google Republican Presidential debate 9/22, and Straw Poll 9/24. On 9/23, the CPAC event included a Florida Republican US Senate Straw Poll, remarks from Presidential candidates, and a number of educational sessions. All events were held in the Orange County Convention Center, Rosen Center, Rosen Plaza, and Peabody hotels, so proximity assisted in coordination of all events and allowed delegates to each event easy access to the others. The organizers of all three events are to be congratulated for their planning this multiple event opportunity.

Traveling with the President of the Gulf Coast Republican Women Federated club was a great experience for me. She is new to politics, having been involved for only a couple of years, and had not attended any events like the three we attended. Having been politically active off and on for about 30 years, I’ve attended quite a few and it tickled me to see her so excited about everything we did. Its easy to forget not everyone has my background and experience, and very easy to be a little blasé about these events. I was very grateful to experience the weekend through her eyes as well as my own.

I attended all three events, and wanted to record and share my impressions and experiences before I see any “news” about any of them. In years past, it has been my experience that news reports often vary from actual events, leading me to question most news reports with “What if that were true?”. So, the following are my impressions of the events as delegate to all three, not made on behalf of any of the organizations, just my personal impressions, so please don’t think any of the following are “official” stories or news releases. Now that my disclaimer is finished, here’s what I experienced this weekend.

FFRW

As always, the FFRW event was well organized, well executed, and well attended. The Board meeting prior to the general meeting was one of the quickest I have ever seen, at about 7 minutes flat. It helps when the business to be conducted is communicated to the participants ahead of time in a clear and concise fashion.

The FFRW has unveiled the Florida Women’s DC Project http://whatsthebuzzgop.com aimed at forming a coalition of 50,000 women, Republican, Independent, and disillusioned Democrat, to help defeat the current occupant of the White House. I am not certain I’m crazy about the “Anybody but Obama” slogan, as it tacitly indicates support for an Obama primary challenger as well as anybody with other party affiliations. Maybe that was the intent, but if the assumption was that the incumbent would be the Democrat nominee, that may have been a bit naïve. Anything can happen in an election cycle. Anything. Perhaps I am being too critical and cynical, but having a strategic and tactical mindset, I try to never assume anything.

Prior to the debate, the FFRW hosted a cocktail party for members and a number of distinguished guests. National President Sue Lynch, who is from my home state of Wisconsin, was there and I got an opportunity to speak with her and ask about some old friends from Wisconsin’s Third Congressional district circa 1985. It is a small world, indeed. Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll joined us for much of the event. She is the absolute darling of the FFRW. Being longtime member helps, but LG Carroll is such a brilliant, lovely, articulate and personable lady, its impossible not to adore her. Texas Governor Rick Perry’s wife turned up for a time, but I’m afraid she was a bit upstaged by our LG. Nothing against Anita Perry, its just that Jennifer Carroll is our homegrown superstar and she is a tough act to compete with.

Fox News/Google Debate

While I did have delegate’s credentials and was therefore invited to the debate, the idea of a hot bath and a glass of wine in my hotel room while watching the debate on TV sounded far more appealing to me than sitting in a drafty hall with 4000 of my closest friends watching the “Mitt and Rick” show. As it turned out, my expectations of the debate were realized and I had a much better time on phone, Twitter and email with some of my more astute fellow political hacks. One member of the hack pack made the perfect statement to sum up the debate “Rick Perry got his ass handed to him… and it was Rick Santorum doing the handing”.

As expected, most of the questions were directed to the media-anointed frontrunners and truly, none were much more challenging than “What is your favorite kind of cookie?”. The “Who on the stage would you select for VP?” question was a good way to wrap up the Perry/Romney lovefest and a lot of fun, at least when the candidates answered it. Newt’s response was predictably professorial when he said this isn’t a game show and refused to respond, but was also indicative of why he will not be the nominee.

My roommate came back about a half hour after the debate and we watched the Sean Hannity post-debate interviews, which I thought were more interesting that the actual event and talked about our impressions. One thing we agreed upon was Google’s stellar performance on the technical side. Those folks at Google have it going on; and the several I met were gracious and at least outwardly neutral to the whole process. A very competent and professional group.

CPAC

The CPAC event was by far the highlight of the weekend. Well organized, with the schedule published in advance as well as available on a kiosk in the main hall of the convention center, the events were varied enough to hold appeal for all attending but the schedule was not so crowded as to be overwhelming for the participants.

When we arrived, I decided to walk through the vendor expo, as I was not sure I would get another chance. Talking with various delegates and guests, many conversations involved the ridiculous bias of the debate and angst about the impression that once again, the left and the pants-wetting press were telling the delegates who the nominee should be. Many comments were made about Rick Perry to the effect that “Well, he’s going to be the nominee, but I don’t like him”. My response was always “then, don’t flipping vote for him”. Still somewhat undecided, I was not able to offer an alternative, but don’t vote for someone you don’t believe in or like. Another common thread was about the other media-inspired frontrunner. The general consensus is that Gov. Romney has nice teeth and hair, but we don’t vote for teeth and hair if we have any intelligence; and that if the man could not beat John McCain in 2008, he has an icicle’s chance in Hell of beating the current occupant of the White House in 2012. One gentleman suggested there should be a rule that if you have run for President before and were not the nominee, you should not be allowed to run again. That would certainly have spared us a lot of Ron Pauls, John McCains, Bob Doles, Pat Robertsons, and Pat Buchanans. Maybe someone should propose that for post 2012.

Speaking of Dr. Paul, there was a very large and vocal group of his supporters in attendance, though very few were actual delegates. He has some great ideas and some very questionable ideas, but I wonder if there is a “Ron Paul-speak training school” somewhere as his supporters generally say the same things in the same way, often with the same words. I was a little surprised at the number of them who said Dr. Paul started the Tea Party. I guess none of them has ever heard of Jennybeth Martin, Amy Kremer, or even Rick Santelli.

I was rather amused when the young man from CFACT asked if I would like to sign a petition to help defeat Al Gore. Apparently, he’s missed the memo that Sen. Gore was not running for anything, but I humored him a bit. The fact that his name tag said “Press” and his petition had no indication of any affiliation with any organization was even more suspect than the scent of alcohol on his breath. Perhaps he’s shy and needed some liquid courage to talk with strangers. I did promise to check out the CFACT website and see what they are about, which I fully intend to do at some point, but not today. Then again, maybe he was doing a press “gotcha” campaign. Hard telling without knowing, but there were more interesting ways to occupy my afternoon.

CPAC sponsored a Florida US Senate Candidates Straw Poll and each of the four candidates were allowed a 15 minute speech to the crowd. I listened to all or part of each of their presentations.

Adam Hasner made a salient point when he pointed out the fact that he is the only one of the field of four who has ever won an election. I’ve heard Mike McCalister before and am impressed by his qualifications and his understanding of the duties and responsibilities of the US Senate. Until Friday, I had not been particularly impressed with his speaking, not that it was not interesting and compelling, but it was somewhat lacking the ability to create fervor and inspiration in the audience. Friday, Col. McCalister gave the speech of his life; and when you consider he did not have a booth at the vendor expo nor a pack of minions running around the event handing out McCalister stickers, one can only conclude his very respectable showing in the straw poll was a result of that speech. I know I walked in to the polling room fully prepared to vote for him myself. George LeMieux’s presentation was a banal self-aggrandizement and I stopped counting how many times he used the word “I”. It may have been 53, but I could not attest to the number. People with “I-itis” are generally not the best public servants. Its not about you, Senator, its about me. Give me a compelling reason to believe my world will be a better place if I vote for you and I will walk over hot coals, climb mountains, swim with sharks and even listen to NPR to advance your cause. Tell me “Hi, I’m wonderful, how do you like me so far?” and I’m apt to take up knitting instead. I am sure Craig Miller is a very nice man and good to his grandchildren, but when his presentation started with a joke about making better pizza than Herman Cain, I figured he was reaching and decided I probably did not need to hear all of it. Besides, I’d already made my decision. Funny thing, though, when it came down to the vote, as inspired as I was by Col. McCalister’s speech, the fact that Adam Hasner has won elections before just appealed to the strategist in me and in the end I, along with a majority of the voting delegates, voted for Hasner.

There were several breakout sessions that showed promise. I stopped in to the discussion of healthcare and the Obamacare lawsuit featuring Attorney General Pam Bondi and former AG Bill McCollum as well as others, but there was such a huge crowd, I figured I’d hear about it from fellow delegates. There were also panel discussions about isolationism, Cuba, America’s youth awakening from a collective Obama hangover, and the future of the conservative movement, the last being my favorite session. Amy Kremer reminded the crowd that the movement is a process and significant progress is rarely made overnight. The young man next to me was working on his 4^th grade math workbook and I later commented to his Mom that I was very impressed he was doing school work rather than playing with a Gameboy. She explained he wanted to come to CPAC and that he was allowed to attend rather than going to school that day on the condition his school work was not neglected. I congratulated her on her raising of the boy, and his commitment to learning. Makes you feel good to see a responsible kid. Also, I didn’t hear a peep out of him the whole session – and he was a cutie!

Later, some of the Presidential candidates were allowed a 15 minute speech, emceed brilliantly by Al Cardenas, Chairman of the American Conservative Union. I watched Gary Johnson, who was at that time the most Googled name in the world, thanks to his comment about dog poop. Gov. Johnson is very entertaining and doubtless a very nice man. I’m glad he got his Andy Warhol-esque 15 minutes of fame, but I think that’s over now and, IMHO, its time for him to go back to New Mexico. I want to say John Huntsman spoke, but I honestly don’t recall. Maybe Gov. Johnson can drop Gov. Huntsman off on his way home. I was able to hear the entire presentations of Rick Santorum and Herman Cain. Santorum is a good looking, passionate, articulate conservative who has defeated a number of Democrat incumbents in his career. He never mentions he was defeated in 2006 by the largest margin of defeat for an incumbent Senator since 1980, per Wikipedia, but then, I guess I’d leave that detail off my stump speech if it were me, too. The last Presidential candidate I heard was Herman Cain. With 5 standing ovations, I was pretty sure he had reached a few people and was very happy for him. There were a number of people, myself included, who had gone to the event thinking Mr. Cain had accomplished quite a lot, got his message out pretty well, and needed to exit the race. I think he changed a few minds that day. I know he changed mine.

That evening, there was a party at the Ice Bar on International Drive hosted by the Sarasota Republican Party. We had been invited, but thought better of it when the rain started. At dinner with a couple of lovely ladies from the Daytona Beach area, my roommate received a call to “get over here NOW” and she and the ladies headed out for the Ice Bar. By that time, I’d had a couple of glasses of wine and a reasonable meal and was thinking bed sounded better than ice. I understand it was a great party and I missed the opportunity to have my picture taken with Sen. Santorum. That’s the 4^th opportunity I’ve missed. Oh well, I suspect we will see him again….

The morning session of P5 featured Andrew Breitbart and was, by all accounts, worth the price of admission on its own. Unfortunately, we had decided to check out of the hotel that morning and head home once the straw poll was finished. Funny thing about women traveling, especially traveling to woman-centric events (like FFRW), we seem to lose all sense of proportion when it comes to packing. Colin and I took less luggage the last time we visited England for a week than I had for a weekend. All this is to say, it took us a while to pack up and head out.

We wandered around the convention hall for a bit and ran into a high school sophomore who asked us a question. I forget the question, but we asked him who he would vote for if he were a delegate. He proceeded to tell us his opinions of each of the candidates and defended those opinions capably and without any of the “he’s got teeth, and hair, and he’s soooo cute” that you sometimes get from middle aged women. Smart lad. I expect he will do well in life.

It was freezing in the convention hall and so I stepped outside to see if my feet would thaw out. A man was seated nearby smoking a cigar, so I sat down near him. I was missing Colin and the smell of a good cigar was comforting to me. There was a lady finishing her lunch in the same area and we started to chat. Presently, a young lady who is a recent college grad joined us and over the next hour or so, several others drifted in and out. Conversation topics: RPOF needs better event planning expertise on staff. There were a number of events about which little to no information was available and would have been better attended if we knew about them. CPAC could give lessons in event planning. The debate was a farce. The pants-wetting press is once again trying to influence the outcome. Nobody is fond of Mitt or Perry. It would be a hoot to watch a debate, sans teleprompter, between Gingrich and Obama and it is an interesting time to be alive and involved in politics. For a while, one of the Ron Paul-ites joined us and participated admirably in our impromptu debate. We agreed with him on a few points, refuted him on a few others, even though we had all pretty much agreed prior to his arrival that Dr. Paul provides little else than comic relief. When he left, someone, could have been me, commented that the cool thing about the GOP is that we are, by and large, pretty tolerant of differing opinions and that while many of us were voting for different people, we were able to engage each other and the Paul-ite in a polite and intellectual manner without degenerating each other, name calling, or accusing each other of being a racist, sexist, bigoted, homophobe and we were able to respect that each was allowed their opinion. Felt like the “big tent” days of old.

The afternoon session featured a touching tribute to former RPOF Chair, Dave Bitner, who recently lost his battle with ALS. Not a dry eye in the house. Governor Rick Scott spoke admirably and I was most impressed with the fact that he wore a chambray shirt with the Florida seal logo embroidered on it. No coat and tie. I guess he didn’t feel a need to impress anybody. In reality, he impressed everybody. Jennifer Carroll was the chairman of the event and carried out her duties with her customary grace and charm. Following are my impressions (and mine alone) of the presentations for each of the candidates:

Michelle Bachmann – no presentation, no surrogates. One has to wonder how much longer she will stay in the race?

Gary Johnson – see above.

Mitt Romney – no presentation, no surrogates. Maybe Gov. Hair and Teeth heard our conversations….

Ron Paul – was represented admirably by a county coordinator and a video presentation, but Dr. Paul had apparently long since left the building. Regardless, his contingent was very vocal in their support.

Herman Cain – entered to a standing ovation, the first of about 16 during his time on the stage. His preamble was a video “I Am America” http://youtu.be/sbwR7aSTcGY Mr. Cain then went on to explain his positions on and proposals for a number of the problems facing America today. IMHO, the 9-9-9 plan is not a workable solution, as such must be passed by Congress and will introduce a new tax that, while seemingly affordable now, could be increased by a future administration, but the man has a vision that has been articulated. And it does not consist of “go to my website and check out my 59 point plan”. Seriously, who does the 59 point guy think will pay attention to 59 points? Reagan had a 3 legged stool that pretty much anyone could articulate. That was much more relatable to the public, IMHO. To me, the most memorable parts of the speech included the Reagan quote “Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it on to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.” Mr. Cain said that is not a conversation he intends to have with his grandchildren. He closed with his call to action “Help me put the ‘United’ back in the United States of America.” The crowd went wild.

Rick Santorum – I need to once again disclaim here, the following is my opinion. Sen. Santorum took the stage and looked visibly shaken, and a whole lot pissed off. My impression is that he could see Cain just won the vote and he was not happy about following him. I’ve noticed he has a “tell”. You poker players know what I am talking about. He sort of pushes his upper lip over his upper teeth. Not sure what the tell is relevant to, but it is there and was present a number of times in his speech. Several of his points seemed to be intended as a direct refutation of Mr. Cain’s speech, so I am guessing he sees Cain as his biggest threat. I did hear some comments about Sen. Santorum’s presentation that included the words “phony” and “smarmy”. His conclusion was the story about the partial birth abortion debate circa 1999, which I had heard before. He told how the baby is delivered, all but the head, and then killed as the doctor holds him. He left out the part about the scissors inserted at the base of the baby’s skull that enables the baby’s brain to be sucked out and flushed down the sink. Maybe that was deemed too graphic by a focus group. His story is compelling but one must wonder if that story from 1999 was the epitome of Santorum’s career. He did receive a few standing ovations. My count was 5. Could have been one more or less.

Newt Gingrich – I answered nature’s call during Speaker Gingrich’s intro and did not hear the first few minutes of his speech, but when I returned to my seat, I recall thinking that he is far too cerebral for the average voter. He would be an excellent debate coach for whomever the nominee is, but I’m afraid he should have run in 1996. Few people today recall the Contract with America and the resulting budget surplus. ’96 should have been his time. Now, to the average person he’s a college professor who was once in politics. I was particularly appalled when he stated that the reason he did not answer the running mate question because Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) was not on the stage and hinted broadly that Rubio would be his running mate. Someone said aloud “Gosh Newt, can you spell pander?” Could have been me.

John Huntsman – had also left the building but did send a video that was far too arty and a little distracting in its artiness. He also elected to allow his wife, an Orlando native, and children to represent him. I can understand the motive. She is a lovely and gorgeous woman and if he intends to use her as a campaign representative, what better venue than in a safe and supportive environment like her home town? Unfortunately, there were a number of comments about how she is not a stellar speaker and those poor kids had to stand on either side of her for the entire performance. One can only hope Gov. Huntsman had hitched a ride home with Gov. Johnson and he will not subject his wife to another such experience.

Rick Perry – Railroad Commissioner Michael Williams, a candidate for Congress, represented Perry. Williams is a tall, very good-looking black man who has a soothing, almost melodic voice. I could have listened to him read the telephone book for about an hour. Actually, I might have preferred it. He wanted to refute the belief that Perry is in favor of giving tuition breaks and other perks to illegal aliens, but given some of the statements Gov. Perry made in the debate, the message fell flat. As someone pointed out later, Perry was also opposed to the second amendment before he was for it…..

Voting followed immediately. We took a short break and were considering leaving when there was an announcement that the ballots were ready. Seated again, there was an announcement that there was a surprise guest, Sarah Palin. As the woman took the stage my reaction was “Oh dear God, NO!!” and then I realized she was a celebrity impersonator. She was followed by a George W. Bush impersonator, who was remarkably believable. Both actors did an admirable job.

The roll call followed and I was particularly touched when the lone delegate from Gulf County received a standing ovation for being present and casting his ballot.

Results were announced in the reverse order of finish:

8. Michele Bachmann, 1.5%

7. Jon Huntsman, 2.3%
6. Newt Gingrich, 8.4%
5. Ron Paul, 10.4%
4. Rick Santorum, 10.9%
3. Mitt Romney, 14.0%
2. Rick Perry, 15.4%

1. Herman Cain, 37.1%

The room erupted. Erupted! ERUPTED!!!! I have not seen this much excitement at a political event since the last time I saw Ronald Reagan speak live in 1985. Hugs and high fives abounded. Even people I knew to have voted for others were pleased and excited. Someone eloquently mentioned “This will fuck with the heads of the media” I agreed. It is going to be a paradigm shift and I can’t wait to see how the pants-wetting press deals with it. One of Cain’s slogans is “Is America Ready?” I don’t know about the rest of America, but I’d say the Republican Party of Florida is ready. And Cain is able.

Notes from a Weary Traveler

2011-06-03T16:32:00.001-04:00

The following is an essay I wrote shortly after the terrorist attacks on 9/11/2001. It took a long time to locate it again, but with the 10th anniversary of 9/11 coming up, I thought it might be an appropriate re-visit.

Monday, 10 September

I flew cross-country in a B 767-200. At that time, my biggest concern was that I was seated in a window seat, having given up my preferred aisle seat so that a mother and child could sit together. Grumbling about the lack of space and claustrophobic feeling caused by sitting on an inside seat next to a 6’4" man, I thought to myself "It’s your own darn fault, you volunteered to change seats with that woman." So, I offered my corn flakes to the big, burly businessman and went to sleep. The rest of the flight was uneventful and we landed in Salt Lake City on time.

Tuesday, 11 September

What a difference a day makes! News of the terror came in a phone call from a friend at about 7 AM local time. Numb, I went to the client site. People had boom boxes and portable radios playing the news. Folks surfed the Internet looking for some indication that a miracle had occurred and there would be only minimal damage. I got on the phone and email, looking for my brother who works in DC and colleagues who would be traveling this week. My boss phoned about 10 AM local time; she was checking in with all of the team, making sure we were all safe. Then the influx of emails started: friends, family, and friends whom I consider my family sent the same message: "Did you travel yesterday?" "Where are you?" "Please tell me you are safe."

Shortly after 10, my brother emailed to tell me his building was evacuated and he was at home. Safe. Responses to my emails began to come through. All the co-workers were accounted for. Safe. A friend of a friend who works at Pentagon, a brave Marine stationed in DC, friends and children of friends, all safe.

When my favorite Brit heard the news, he phoned me. "If you can’t get home, I am driving to Salt Lake City to keep you company." He had recently spent two months back in the UK getting immigration issues squared away. I asked him if he felt that he wanted to go back. His answer was somewhat different than I expected. "This is my home now. I chose to come here to live, and here I will stay. Even with what just happened, I feel safer in the US than I ever did in UK. The acts of faceless, cowardly animals will not defeat this country. America is stronger than that and Americans are better than that. No, I will not leave."

For the rest of the day, everywhere I went there were stories of near misses and frightening moments, but all good news. My hotel was located next to the American Red Cross office. The parking lot, normally nearly empty, was packed all day and evening. Even with a rare blood type, the Red Cross could not get me an appointment and suggested I wait a week or two. Frustrating, but I guess it made sense. Everyone who donated today will not be able to donate for another six weeks.

Wednesday, 12 September

Another surreal day. People were at work, but they were busy sharing stories, rather than working. Restaurants were jam packed at mealtimes. Everyone was out to see that other people still live in the world, seeking the comfort of a friendly face.

I decided I needed a good meal and a stiff drink, the latter not being widely available in the city where I was staying. After dinner, I stopped by a hotel bar and traded stranded traveler stories. It seemed as if all of us road warriors were looking at each other thinking, "If you’re here, and you are safe. You are someone’s parent, child, sibling, or co-worker, so then all of mine must be safe, too."

A man standing outside the restaurant having a cigarette asked me, "What’s that?" He pointed toward the sky. It sounded like jet engines. The planes were flying once again. We stood there grinning at each other for a moment, wished one another a good night and safe trip home.

Thursday, 13 September

I was OK until this morning. Having traveled for many years, a delay in a trip is not a cause for alarm. Air traffic was beginning to return and it looked like the stock market would open soon. All my people were safe. Life was returning to normal.

As I drove to work, National Public Radio broadcast the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, normally accompanied by playing of "God Save the Queen" was today accompanied by "The Star Spangled Banner". The Brits were playing our national anthem. I burst into tears at a traffic signal and looked like Hell by the time I got to work. My client user asked me what was wrong. I puddled up as I told her. All day long, silly stuff set me off. I was beginning to be very glad I could try to return home the following day.

That evening, I phoned Delta Airlines and found my return trip had been canceled. Not surprised, I began to work with the very patient agent in Miami who was telling about this tropical storm in the Gulf. Oh my gosh! I hadn’t even looked at the Weather Channel in days!

In the next hour, we explored all sorts of travel options. Through Kansas City. Yes, I thought, I have friends there I can call if I am stuck. Atlanta? Sure, I have a place to stay there if I am stranded. Can’t get to Sarasota? I know people who would drive to Tampa or Orlando to get me. How about Miami? I have friends there too. Then I thought about all the people I know all across the country and what a poor correspondent I am. Made a mental note to tell everybody I love that I did love them.

Friday, 14 September

As I watched a live feed from Salt Lake City airport, I thought what a mess the trip home would be. After I phoned home to see how the weather looked, I learned that Tropical Storm Gabrielle was making landfall in my back yard even as we spoke. OK, I thought. Maybe God does not want me to go home this weekend.

Concerned for the safety of my house and cats, I phoned a friend who did not live not far away. She had already been to my house, ensured its security, and assured the kitties that "Momma would be home soon."

I phoned the wonderful woman at my company’s corporate travel desk who had taken such good care of me, and we sorted out a weekend drive to Reno. I gave Colin the required instructions and then hit the road. It was nice to get out of Salt Lake City. I was beginning to get cabin fever.

During the drive West, I realized that I never see the countryside when I am on site. I either work or study in the evening. Had this tragedy not happened, I would not allowed myself the luxury of this side trip. I saw a number of truckers, cars, and Harley Davidson’s flying the American flag. Many of the businesses and homes in the high desert displayed the flag as well. Old Glory never looked so good, even at half-mast.

It occurred to me that the people living in this desolate area had probably not seen the Manhattan skyline in person as I had, or walked upon the mall in Washington. But they were just as angry, hurt, dismayed and full of patriotism as us East Coasters and city dwellers. I was intrigued by the texture of the mountains. Once, a very long time ago, the area was under a glacier and later a great ocean flowed where I was now driving. The faces of those mountains were shaped by these events, events over which they had no control. The world had changed for them. The world continues to change.

Many times, our lives are shaped by events beyond our control. People are born and die. People change jobs and locations. People move in and out of our lives, and we too are changed by those events. It is how we choose to deal with the ever-changing world that determines who we are, and ultimately, what our "face" looks like.

I am grateful for many things in my life. I love my job. I work for people who care about my physical and emotional well being, as well as my productivity. I have friends in all parts of the country and many parts of the world. Not everyone has friends and neighbors who will watch over your property without being asked. Not everyone can phone a friend for dinner when they are stuck in a randomly chosen city. Not everyone has the material resources and to be able to take an unintended vacation or extend a stay if it is needed.

I live in the safest, freest, most prosperous country in the world. I am free to travel from one state to another with no special permission required. I live in a country where people help each other: friends, neighbors, AND total strangers. It doesn’t matter whom or where; when we hear of trouble, we ask, "How can I help?"

I have the right to disagree with other citizens or with the government itself without fear of unfortunate repercussions or threats to my personal safety. Our government is strong. Our military is strong. Our country has long offered refuge to those whose governments do not allow such freedoms as we take for granted and will continue to do so. To stop would be to admit defeat. That is not the American way.

So I look forward to going home. And I need to make a couple of promises. First, I will try to be a better correspondent to all I love so dearly. Second, I will not take for granted the traveling life I have chosen. Lastly, even if I am stuck in a window seat with a big, burly businessman who wants my cornflakes, I will not complain or feel sorry for myself, and I will be glad I am able to live in a country where all things are possible.

Naturalization

2010-09-02T17:54:00.000-04:00

My husband Colin, who was born in England, was recently naturalized as a US citizen. So many people have asked us if it just took forever, and if it was horribly difficult and all bound up in red tape. To each, we responded it was pretty straightforward and did not take long at all. Invariably, folks thought we were joking, being ironic, or had the only good experience ever in the history of US immigration.

Knowing a few others who have been naturalized over the last few years, we know we are not an isolated case. A couple of days ago, someone asked me if I had a blog and if I could post the story of my newly American husband on my blog. Well, since somebody asked…..

Colin came to the US to work in 1997 on an L1 Visa. He was fortunate to have the opportunity and after his initial two year commitment to the company, elected to become a permanent part of the company’s US operation. Maybe meeting me had something to do with that. Maybe not. At that time, the company offered to sponsor him for a Green Card (they are pink, by the way, if you were wondering) and the application was set in motion.

That company began to experience some serious marketplace challenges in 2000 and there was a huge layoff February 1, 2001. Colin was one of those laid off. What he did not learn until later was that the company had asked the immigration attorney to cancel his application in the autumn of 2000, as they were tightening budget and presumably had already made the decision he would be included in the layoff at that time.

Funny thing about the L1, when you have one and no Green Card, when you lose your job, you have 30 days to leave the country. Buh-bye. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. So, his big challenge at that time was to find another job that would also sponsor him for a Green Card and to do so within a matter of days. Fortunately, he is exceptionally good at his job and we had a pretty good professional network in those days, so by the end of February, he had signed a contract with a new company and was preparing to move to his new work city.

The new company brought him over on an H1B Visa. The H1B Visa pool is probably the source of our greatest failure in attracting well-educated immigrants, in my humble opinion. They are not particularly difficult to qualify for if you have a profession, but since the pool for this type of Visa is today no larger today than it had been in 1990, it can be discouraging for potential applicants.

In the meantime, since his L1 Visa was for the company he no longer worked for, he had to leave the country and allow the new company to obtain a new Visa for him, which took about three months. Not bad for international bureaucracy. The new company had an English office so he was able to begin working there almost immediately upon his return.

Once back in the country, he immediately asked for a Green Card and a new application was initiated for him. Then September 11, 2001 happened. Now, you may be wondering why we did not just get married when he lost the job and transfer his Green Card application to one based upon marriage. We had discussed that and had decided we would be married one day, but he really felt it was important to get the Green Card on his own merit, not because he married an American. All that changed after 9/11. Actually, it changed on 9/10, the day he ordered my engagement ring, but once we started serious discussion about a wedding date, we decided sooner was much better than later.

So, we got married in July of 2002, fully five months ahead of our already accelerated schedule. We had already planned for him to move here in October and decided to execute that plan on schedule. We joke with people that the marriage was going so well after 3 months, we decided to live together. The next week, we visited an immigration attorney here in Sarasota (I’ll be happy to share his name if you need it) and submitted his Green Card application on or about October 15, 2002.

There were all of the silly things you hear about with trying to get a Green Card. There were fingerprints and chest X-Rays (his, not mine), gathering of financial records, and the dreaded “are you really married or is this an immigration sham?” interview. The INS agent we met with was delightful and did not even ask us any of the dreaded “horror story” questions and refused to even look at my wedding pictures (bitch!) – she had decided we were pretty obviously married, and not just to keep him here. Having dated for 5 years probably helped with that impression. I am not sure the exact date in 2003 when Colin’s Green Card was issued, but since his birthday is mid March and we had a “Happy Birthday and Green Card” shortly after, I am thinking it was about the 18^th or so… yes, it took 5 months for his Green Card to be issued.

After you have the marriage based Green Card for two years, it can be made permanent. If you get one from work, they are automatically permanent. The permanent version lasts for 10 years, so you have a good long period of time to decide if you want to try for citizenship or just continue with a renewed Green Card. His decision came in January of 2010. We talked about going back to the attorney to have the application submitted via his office, but when we looked at the online information and application form (not to mention talking with friends who had recently done theirs without legal assistance) we decided to give it a shot on our own.

His application for naturalization was submitted on or about March 15, 2010. At least, that’s the day we wrote the check… In April, he received an invitation for another fingerprinting session. Those folks at Homeland Security just love fingerprints. I guess the concept of keeping them on file is not something they do… anyway, that appointment was in May. They took his prints and gave him the booklet about the US, its history, the government, the political process and the pool of 100 possible questions his civics test could contain.

In June, he received his invitation to the interview and civics test, which was scheduled for July 22, 2010. That day, we were instructed to allow about 3 hours for waiting, interview and testing. We arrived at 9:20 AM for a 9:30 appointment and I guess things were going smoothly, as he was seen by an agent almost immediately. Twenty minutes later, he had completed his test (many fewer than 100 questions) and his interview and we were on our way home. Funny thing, the agent said Colin was just a few months from his Green Card when the first application was canceled in the autumn of 2000. Had it not been, he would have had his Green Card before being laid off and could have applied for citizenship in 2003, married to me or not.

The next naturalization ceremony was August 20, 2010, five months and five days from the day he made the application.

So, don’t believe the media and political hype about how horrible and awful and broken our immigration system is. If you have a profession and there is a need for your talent here, you can get a Visa. If you are coming here to start a business and have the requisite financing in place, you can get a Visa. If you actually marry an American for real, you can apply for a Green Card. If you are in this country for a long enough period of time with a Green Card, regardless of how it was obtained, you can apply for naturalization.

No, marrying an American does not automatically make you an American citizen (I could not believe the number of people who assumed that), and neither does obtaining a Green Card, but it puts you on the path. The path is a little time consuming, but not terribly inconvenient, not terribly expensive, and, in the grand scheme of things, not a very long process.

So the next time somebody tells you how terrible, unfair, unjust, etc. our immigration policies and processes are, do me a favor? Look them square in the eye and tell them “Bullshit”.

Vacation 2010 Epilogue

2010-07-25T14:01:00.001-04:00

Colin looked at the washing machine on Saturday and discovered a massive hairball clogging the washing machine pump… I guess that was not much of a surprise. We have hairballs everywhere else in the house. Regardless, it was much less expensive than calling out a repair man or buying a new machine. We also avoided having to visit a Laundromat, not something I have done in about 25 years, so I was very, very happy. Pool Boy Bill had cut our lawn – we love that he does things like that and can’t figure out what we might have done to deserve such a stellar neighbor – so no choice for us but to spend the weekend poolside.

We watched the World Cup finals from the pool, of course. We had been hoping for a Netherlands win, but such was not the case. Oh well, it was an interesting match.

Returning to work on Monday, I was so happy to be able to present Marianne with her new best friend and all the pictures. She asked if I had gotten phone numbers from all the cute guys I photographed with “the Bear”. While I had not, it did sort of strike me that I only shot “the Bear” with men. Maybe that was meant as a subconscious additional gift for my single lady friend.

I have been terribly remiss in not posting all of this on the blog, and it will eventually go on my Facebook, but in the meantime, we had Colin’s naturalization interview, which he passed, and finally got unpacked and back in the swing of work.

I just can’t think of anybody who has a better life than ours. Love and hugs to everybody who bothers to read all of this…..

Vacation 2010 Friday July 9, 2010

2010-07-25T13:59:00.002-04:00

After an early morning wake up, somewhere around 7AM, we hugged Miss Barbara goodbye and shared the details of the conversation with Paris. Barbara decided she would tell Paris that we were found Friday morning dancing naked around the pool. I suggested we add a bonfire, and maybe a roasted iguana, just to make the story more interesting. I love it when co-workers can have fun. Life is too short to be miserable at work. All week, we had carried the room and gate keys around on a lanyard, very much like the one I wear at work to hold my security badge. It did not occur to me to notice the keys hanging about my neck until I reached down to fiddle with “my badge” and found keys. We turned around at the intersection of Truman and Margaret, went back to the inn, and left a sheepish note for Barbara with the keys.

A couple of hours later, we stopped for breakfast at the Burger King in Islamorada and, as I was waiting in line for the Ladies’ room, I met a very interesting young woman. She was on the early part of a 16 hour trip on Greyhound Bus Lines. Presumably, she was coming room Key West, and she said she was headed to Tampa. It seems she had made a rather serious error in judgment recently and her family suggested going back home might be a good idea for her. From her conversation, I gathered her parents are not the type to make a kid pay for a mistake for the rest of her life and they were pretty keen to have their girl back home to help her get her life back on track. At least, I hope that is what their motive was. She seems like a reasonably good kid and I hope she does well. Please say a prayer for her if you are inclined.

We stopped off at the Audi dealer when we got back to Sarasota and picked up my car. I asked the cashier if he was tired of babysitting the TT. He said no, but if it had been there too much longer, he was considering putting it up for sale. What is it about other people selling my stuff?

Arriving home, the Fleabag Brothers were reasonably happy to see us, but not ecstatic, having been dutifully over-fed by Uncle Bill and we spent the evening relaxing and sifting through the accumulated mail.

Vacation 2010 Thursday, July 8, 2010

2010-07-25T13:48:00.014-04:00

At five minutes to eight, my cell phone rang. My usual response to such a disturbance is “this better be good” or occasionally “Somebody better be dead”. Not a fast waker-upper, I missed the call and had to check my voice mail to see what the heck was going on. Apparently, there had been an alarm at Rick’s place. Knowing it was the day his cleaner (who is also our cleaner) visits, I figured he went off and did not give her all the needed instructions for dealing with the alarm and our friends at ADT. The technician confirmed my theories and I phoned Jo to see if she was OK. She told me ADT had phoned and the alarm was reset. I said I was about 500 miles away and, should she need bail money, to please not call me until Friday afternoon. Late.

Once again, we checked in with Paris to let her know it was OK to have the room done up. We joked with her that since we were the only guests, perhaps we would be safe in running around the property naked. She got such a horrified look in response to our comment, we thought maybe she is that person every office or team has; somebody you just don’t joke with. Then we got to thinking, running the desk in an inn in Key West, she’s probably had guests do that or something even stranger….she is a very nice an polite lady and took good care of us while we were there.

Anyway, we decided it was another Pepe’s day. We drove because, well, we could, and found a spot at the bar. The lovely Cara was working that morning and while she is also an excellent bartender, she can’t seem to reproduce a mimosa with the quality of Tom’s. That makes me feel better, as she is a trained professional. We also shot “the Bear” with the cherub who resides above the bar. I think all bars need an angel, don’t you?
We enjoyed the daily special and dropped the truck back at the Weatherstation.

For an original plan, we were considering spending the day poolside (we had run of the house, after all) but with the rain moving in, we decided to venture out to see what we could see. I despise cruise ship days in Key West. I know it is a boon to the local economy, but all these people who really don’t seem to understand the town (otherwise, they would spend their whole vacation here, right?) running around with a collective hard-on to see all the places Hemingway got plastered just bothers me. Good luck with that, folks.

What to do now? Well, Captain Tony’s is always a safe bet. We were glad to see Chris, who is the inventor of the drink known as the “Redheaded Slut”. The plaque is displayed someplace in the bar… We might even have a picture.

Meantime, here is Chris and “the Bear”… adorable, yes? And so is the bear.

At some point during our visit, one of those walking tours came through. This was the Hemingway Walk, which had apparently started at the Hemingway residence. I assume they had already been to Sloppy Joe’s, which is like Mecca for the “Papa-ites” since this seemed to be the last stop. It cracks me up some of the things folks say about the artifacts in Captain Tony’s. The skeleton behind the bar was purported to be the Captain’s first wife – or maybe it was the second. One day, a coroner or some other type of forensic doc pointed out that there are actually parts of 3 different skeletons, so its nobody’s ex-wife. But it makes a good story. Today’s knee slapper involved the chastity belt that hangs above the bar. Yes, you read that right. There is a very old and rusty chastity belt hanging above the bar. The tour guide told his fascinated listeners that Hemingway’s second wife (maybe it was the third, we were not paying very close attention) was tired of him running around on her and bought it for him. OK, just a couple of things about that. This is an old piece of merchandise. Very old. Much older than Papa, even. Chastity belts are traditionally worn by women. And if he actually did wear it and his hips were narrow enough to fit in this apparatus, I think I can understand why he shot himself.

Carl was playing music – he does an awesome rendition of Eric Clapton’s acoustic version of “Layla”, If you get the chance to visit sometime and Carl is playing, write a request for Layla on a $20 bill and he will likely play it for you. Carl even agreed to being photographed with “the Bear”.

We listened for a while and then decided we should try to get our jewelry cleaned. Having learned earlier in the week that Congress Jewelers http://congressjewelers.com/merchant2/ , where we have bought lots or pretty, shiny objects in the past, has pulled out of Key West, we decided to amble over to Little Switzerland, http://www.littleswitzerland.com/ now located in new digs on Front street . Now, on any given day, Colin and I wear combined jewelry worth more than I paid for my first house. Not bragging, just stating a fact, I’ve bought several cars for more, but that is another story. In light of that, we are accustomed to a good bit of sucking up when we enter a jewelry store, particularly offers to clean our jewelry (probably to appraise the quality of the sparkly stuff we wear). So, we were a little surprised at our chilly reception at Little Switzerland. We looked at a few watches and other shiny objects. I was particularly amused at the spiel the saleslady gave Colin about the Tag Heuer watch he was looking at. She told him all about the perpetual calendar on the watch. Funny thing, this watch did not even HAVE a calendar. And when she showed me a very pretty Breitling, I didn’t mind the inaccurate sales pitch, but when our sales chick put the watch ON HER OWN WRIST after I finished evaluating it, I was pretty well convinced I did not want any of these people touching “sparky”, my engagement ring, much less anything else on my body. Only one sales person seemed to have a clue about what we were wearing, but we encountered him on the way out and the staff there are at least knowledgeable about the first law of sales. Thou shalt not poach another’s prospect. Oh well. We left pretty quickly and decided “the Bear” needed his picture taken in the Hog’s Breath Saloon.

Now, I can tolerate Jimmy Buffett as much as the next guy, maybe a little less. I am not a fan, but I have a seriously bad reaction to “Margaritaville” and some of his more well-worn music. Fortunately, the entertainer in the Hog’s Breath was playing lesser known Buffett tunes, like “Its My Job” so we settled in for a bit, had a snack, and took a picture of “the Bear”

We meandered back to Tony’s – it was the last day of vacation, so no point in breaking our pattern. We had a good rime taking some more pictures

“the Bear” with my old license plate

“the Bear” and the pirate’s punch ad

“the Bear” and our latest placed business cards

Our old business cards, sans bear…

“the Bear” and the world’s biggest brassiere…

And “the Bear” had finally had enough fun….

So, we decided to head back to the room… with a stop at Kelly’s for dinner.

Our server was severely “in the weeds”, as his shift partner had not turned up for work, but he soldiered on and got everyone fed in reasonable time and with extreme good humor. Dinner was, as always, just perfect and we thought it was the perfect ending to a perfect visit.

Back at the Weatherstation, we watched the end of Rays/Indians game and, of course, the daily Tour de France stage. Lining on the edge, as we do….

Vacation 2010 Wednesday July 7, 2010

2010-07-25T13:26:00.014-04:00

Before our morning search for breakfast, we checked in at the front desk to let Miss Paris know it was now OK for Miss Rosa to do up our room. We were happy (for us) and sad (for the staff) to learn we had “run of the house”. That is, we were the only guests present. We advised Miss Paris we are not big early morning breakfast eaters and, really, coffee, maybe a muffin, would be OK as long as we were the only guests.

We had a meeting with Fr. Hooper at St. Paul’s loosely scheduled for after early morning mass, which we missed. We are planning to renew our vows on out tenth wedding anniversary and, since we were married in Key West, it makes sense to do the renewal there as well. We had a wonderful chat and left pretty relieved at how straightforward the process will be. We’re excited to have our vows renewed in that beautiful church and need to start planning for that adventure one day soon.

When we left the church, I realized we were very close to Fleming Street, where the Key West Island Bookstore is. No website, but here is a review: http://www.10best.com/destinations/florida/key-west/all/shopping/key-west-island-bookstore/ I love Tim Dorsey’s novels and always pick up a signed copy of the latest one when I visit the bookstore. The saleslady was saying their computer system was down at the time and we commiserated with her about lost technology. When we mentioned we work in software, a customer asked if we thought we could fix it. We do software, not hardware and I don’t know a router from a cable box. Unable to help, we made our purchases and ventured back into the warm morning.

Heading West on Duval in the breakfast quest, we passed the Hard Rock Café and I recalled my pal Marianne collects Hard Rock memorabilia, but was it t-shirts or teddy bears? Being a girl person, I am loathe to buy another woman a t-shirt. What if it was too small, or, God forbid, too large? I opted for the stuffed toy. Later, as we sat in the Two Friends Patio http://www.twofriendskeywest.com/ our second favorite place for breakfast, Colin got the great idea “Let’s take pictures of the bear wherever we go”. So, the picture taking expedition was on. Of course, we shot “the bear” under the souvenir plaque, which we bought and brought back for Pool Boy Bill.

What to do now? Well, Brian’s set started at noon and Tony’s has a big screen TV, and the World Cup match starts in a couple of hours, and, well, you know where we went. When we arrived, Tommy told us we missed all the fun the day before. The “Tin Man” a local character who dresses up in silver (think Blue Man Group – only metallic) and barks orders at the tourists going by, drill sergeant style (I guess not everybody can sing, but everybody can look stupid in public) was annoying the jewelry vendor (think homemade ankle bracelets, not Harry Winston) on the corner of Green and Duval. After several verbal assaults were exchanged, the jewelry guy pulled out a garden hose and turned on a nearby outdoor spigot, soaking the Tin Man. Just another day in paradise.

We were happy to see the familiar face of Captain Tim Stitch, Key West’s original peg leg pirate. If you watch the Food Network, you might have seen Captain Stitch give chef Robert Irvine some interesting rules for his Dinner Impossible challenge filmed in Key West during the Pirate Festival. Check out the synopsis at: http://www.foodnetwork.com/videos/pirate-peril/51423.html After a short visit, we left him to mingle with the tourists. Last we noticed his whereabouts, he was regaling some pretty blonde with his stories of pillage and plunder. Good to see some things never change…

We introduced “the Bear” to Tommy, who demonstrated what he might like to do to his roommates, should he have occasion to see them again.

We also thought it might be nice to see if “the Bear” could help Brian with tips, so we popped him in the tip jar, hoping to “prime the pump”

I don’t know if it helped, but we had a good time listening to Brian again. By the way, if you are ever someplace where they have live entertainment, please tip the entertainer. Even if you are not fond of their performance, pay attention, or at least don’t talk or shout over them, and for Pete’s sake, toss a couple of dollars in the tip jar. They essentially work for tips, so contribute already. And if you have a request, throw a little more in the jar. Remember, tips are good karma.
We also watched the soccer match, Germany defeated Argentina 4-0. Colin enjoyed the match.

But “the Bear” just wanted to be left alone to enjoy it on his own.

After the match, we ambled back to the Weatherstation and took more pictures of “the Bear”
On the bed…

On the balcony…

We ordered take away from a local BBQ joint, Daddy Bones http://www.kwbbq.com/ which was delivered promptly and was good, not stellar, but certainly acceptable barbecue fare. We ate on the balcony and listened to residents walking their doggies, riding their scooters, and generally going about daily life in the Annex.

Retiring to the room, we caught the current stage of the Tour de France (did I mention Colin is a huge bicycle guy?) and then the Tampa Bay Rays ( I am still annoyed they changed from the Devil Rays, but they did not ask my opinion) defeat the Boston Red Sox 6-4. In a matchup between the Red Sox and Yankees, I’ll take the Sox every time, but I was very happy to see my home team defeat them… tee hee… this made a 5 game sweep for the Rays and they swept their home stand. Happy and having had our fill of sports for the day, we went to sleep knowing we had the house to ourselves… tee hee again…

Vacation 2010 Tuesday July 6, 2010

2010-07-25T13:24:00.001-04:00

With Colin preparing for naturalization, I had spent much of Saturday putting together our documentation for his interview (and civics test) later in the month. To my surprise, I discovered I did not have an official copy of my birth certificate. I have one of those cute “certificate of live birth” things with Mom and Dad’s fingerprints and my little footprints that they made at the hospital, but no official document. Not wanting to wait until we returned from vacation, just in case those stories my mother told me about being dropped off by a family of gypsies when I misbehaved were true, I decided I needed to get that application underway pronto. After a phone call to the Register of Deeds in my home county, we headed to New Town and the Southernmost UPS Store to send away for my legal documents.

Key West is, for a small island, really a varied community. The old, historic part is referred to as Old Town and has the gingerbread houses and feral cats and street entertainers, the other side of the island where all of the modern conveniences are located, like the Southernmost Home Depot, is known as New Town. There are various neighborhoods in both, all with their own personalities, but when I refer to New Town and Old Town, you should know what I am talking about.

Thinking breakfast was in order, we visited Pepe’s, http://www.pepescafe.net/ which is our very favorite place to eat breakfast in Key West, especially now that the Green Iguana is out of business. Tom, the bartender, makes the very best mimosa in the state of Florida, including my own. I don’t know what he does different, but they are the best. While we were enjoying the omelet of the day, an older gentleman pulled up a bar stool near us and we began to chat. His name is Kelly and he is 80 years old and has been a local since the late 1950’s. I love talking with time travelers and Mr. Kelly had some great stories. As we enjoyed our next mimosa and pondered what to do with the rest of the day, a group of beautiful Southern women came in and shopped for souvenirs. Watching true shoppers execute their craft is always a thing of beauty. They unfolded and refolded every t-shirt, sweatshirt and bar towel, ensuring they got the very best ones. I tend to shop like a guy. I need a black skirt, I go to Dillard’s, grab three that look like they will fit, try them on, and if the second one works, I don’t even bother with the third, I just buy the darned thing and move on. I appreciated the ladies’ dedication and Colin got so inspired, he picked out two t-shirts, which he did not unfold, just checked the size and said “Yep, that’ll do.” I like the one that says “I am a local. Not that anybody gives a rat’s ass”

Taking the truck back to the Weatherstation, we found Miss Barbara and the Miss Rosa, the cleaner, talking with the gardeners. It seems there was a flower blooming in one of the trees that is used in Rosa’s native Guatemala for food and she wanted the gardener to harvest it from its perch 10 feet up in the tree. She explained it was good in soup, with eggs or with squash. No idea what it was, but you can learn a lot by stopping and observing. If I ever see that flower again, I will probably be tempted to shinny up the tree and harvest it. Tempted. I haven’t shinnied up a tree in about 35 years, but no doubt I could still do so. Right?

With the World Cup going on, we decided it was a good idea to find a big screen TV to watch the match. Coincidentally, Captain Tony’s has a big screen TV. Imagine our delight in being able to enjoy our favorite cool and shady spot in Key West and not only watch the Netherlands defeat Uruguay 3-1, but also enjoy one of our favorite local musicians, Brian Paul, who was entertaining the crowd and drawing people in from the street. Brian is an amazingly talented musician and he has the most unusual way of combining seemingly unrelated music in to very interesting medleys. My favorite involves Johnny Cash and the Violent Femmes. If you have trouble wrapping your head around that, imagine Ring of Fire segued in to Blister in the Sun. Better yet, if you are in the continental US, get in your car right now, drive to Key West, write your request on a $20 bill, and Brian will play that little medley for you.

Brian also spent some time giving Tommy, our bartender, a little good natured kidding about his erstwhile roommates. It seems that on the Saturday just passed, Tommy’s roommates decided to rob a bank. And make their getaway on Tommy’s bicycle. Which they stole from him earlier. I don’t know who these folks are, but I am thinking they did not escape from a think tank somewhere. Poor Tommy had to miss his shift on Saturday because his house was a crime scene. That’s a hell of a way to be excused from work for a shift – don’t try that one at home. The worst part is, when you work in the food and beverage industry, you make your money from tips. So by not being able to work, Tommy lost money that days as well as everything else that happened. Talk about adding insult to injury….

After the match, we headed up Duval Street, not for the traditional “Duval Crawl”, which we have never found charming, but to attend church. We just love St. Paul’s Episcopal Church http://stpaulskeywest.org/ on the corner of Eaton and Duval. St. Paul’s is a magical place, full of the Holy Spirit. No matter what else is going on when we visit Key West, we always make it a point to visit St. Paul’s for mass.
After church, we thought dinner might be appropriate. Having one of those “why dine when you’re just gonna eat?” types of thoughts, we wandered down Duval and along the way, saw Shades of Key West http://shadesofkeywest.com/ where we decided to indulge Colin’s addiction to Oakley sunglasses. Thinking about it, I decided I needed new sunglasses for driving. My cheap and tacky sunglasses are great for fashion, sort of, and certainly do not cause me discomfort when I lose or break them, but its good to have some protection for the eyeballs. So, with our new sunglasses on, we continued West on Duval.

We decided to try Key West Cheeseburger, which now stands on the site of a restaurant we used to enjoy called Papa’s. Our host greeted us with an “aloha” and seated us in our favorite spot under the banyan tree. Not sure if the host was lost or if the proprietor’s think they are on another island, but they appear to be trying very hard to be Hawaiian (not Tiki, mind you, just Hawaiian) in the middle of one of the most famous Florida island tourist destinations in the world. Talk about mixing your metaphors! Now, I am a pretty hardy person and I understand how commercial kitchens work, especially in Florida, but the stench of what seemed to be rancid grease was a bit much even for me. We asked to be re-seated under the gumbo limbo tree. After waiting a good ten minutes to be served, and noting that the staff could not have been considered to be even remotely “in the weeds”, we decided to opt for other possibilities. Mahalo, but no mahalo.

The last time we visited what is now Red Fish, Blue Fish, it was known as Billie’s .
Colin and I used to like to visit there late at night, back when we were in the habit of being awake late at night, and shoot pool and chat. We did not visit the last time we were in Key West, but remembered Billie’s as having pretty good food, so we knew there was, at a minimum, a working kitchen. I got a kick out of the guy on the street a few steps behind us who asked his family if they wanted to eat at “One Fish, Two Fish”. Huh? If you have children and are looking for a good place for dinner, Red Fish, Blue Fish is the place for you. The wait staff were all very solicitous of their small diners. And I think our waiter was flirting with the six year old girl at the next table. He treated her like a princess and she was just delighted. Funny thing, all of the children in the place were very well behaved. Maybe all that attention helps. We also got quite a floor show as we were seated close to the bar and the young bartender, having very little to do during family dining hour, was practicing his “flair” skills. Not very good, but highly entertaining. Maybe we’ll see him in Vegas one day…

Back to the Weatherstation, we watched the day’s stage of the Tour de France and actually managed to stay awake until about 10 PM. We are the wild couple.

Vacation 2010 Monday, July 5, 2010

2010-07-25T13:22:00.002-04:00

Finally hitting the road around 8 AM, I drove the first half of the journey. Funny thing, I can ride in a boat or airplane in any kind of conditions, but put me in a car for a few hours and, unless I am the driver, I will get motion sickness every time. Aside from a downpour above Naples and a very large speed trap on westbound Alligator Alley, the trip had been pretty uneventful. Colin took over driving duties in time to take us down Florida’s Turnpike, which was unusually quiet. Another deluge hit just North of Florida City. I swear, nobody in Florida is a stellar driver, but it seems like rain equates to an instant lobotomy for most of them. Pressing on below the storm, we started to encounter a line of cars Northbound on US1 traveling at “bumper to bumper, stop and slow” pace which actually continued until we were West of Marathon. Awfully glad we had decided to stay home for our anniversary and July 4 and to take our vacation the next week.

In the last 12 years, we have made the pilgrimage to Key West nearly once each year, sometimes more than once, but have never before located the No Name Pub http://www.nonamepub.com/ on Big Pine Key. Thanks to very precise driving directions from my brother, who formerly lived on Big Pine, and as I understand, has been thrown bodily out of the No Name Pub on one occasion, but that’s another story, we finally found the place.

It was all the descriptions I had read about it, and quite a bit less. Yes, its old and funky and there are dollar bills stapled to all of the vertical surfaces (much like the Mar Vista on Longboat Key, which is another adventure) and some of the folks seated at the tables and bar appeared to be locals, but by and large, it is a tourist trap. Having not eaten all day, my blood sugar was a little low, I was dehydrated, and a bit motion sick, despite having driven a good portion of the way. Maybe that is why the obnoxious man with the “New Yawk” accent at the table behind us who was expounding on how the Dalmatian is the most vicious breed of dog and nearly impossible to train annoyed me so much.
Not being a dog person, I may be wrong, but it has been my experience with dogs that no particular breed is inherently vicious, but that any dog can become so if mistreated. As for training issues, I have only ever met two Dalmatians and can attest to the thought that they are, for a fact, dumb as the proverbial box of rocks. But then, most Golden Retrievers I have met seem to suffer from the same affliction.

I was considering offering the guy a Cliff Claven-itis intervention when Colin finished his beer and decided it was time to go. In defense of the place, I will say the bar and wait staff are very polite and as attentive as they can be given the huge crowd they were serving. There was a young man working that day who was apparently the busboy/runner who seemed to be everywhere, never letting a glass of iced tea stay empty or a dirty plate sit in front of a customer for more than a nanosecond or so. I hear they have great pizza at the No Nome. Judging from the number of pizzas on the tables and bar, I would say I am not the only one who has heard this.

Back on the road, the rest of the journey in to Key West was uneventful and we were happy to see the Weatherstation Inn http://www.weatherstationinn.com/ again. The Weatherstation had been a Coast Guard weather station (hence the name) back in the 1920s and is situated in the Truman Annex of Key West. Located a couple of blocks from the Little White House, the Weatherstation is the only bed and breakfast in the annex, which is a gated community. During the day, the annex is open to the public, but after 6 PM, only locals and guests of the Weatherstation are allowed in. Our favorite room is the Beach Grass, which we occupied for the 5th or 6th time this trip, I am afraid I have lost count. Even with the thirty one steps up the back of the building, it is worth the hike. The room is lovely, always quiet, and features a semi-private balcony overlooking the pool. It’s the perfect place to enjoy the breeze rustling through the palm trees after a long day of “too much fun”.

Our host, the lovely Miss Barbara asked us to sit a bit and enjoy a bottle of water and tell her about the trip before going up to the room. We also discussed our respective favorite places to eat and drink in Old Town and how much things have changed in Key West in the last 20 odd years since I first visited. Convinced we were rehydrated, she walked us up to the room, pointed out some recent improvements and left us to unpack. She also mentioned that Kelly’s is located just outside the Caroline Street gate, truly stumbling distance away, and they have an excellent happy hour featuring inexpensive appetizers and margaritas as big as your head. If you have never visited Kelly’s, http://www.kellyskeywest.com/ it is the site of the original Pan Am airlines, complete with the obligatory sign stating so (great place for a tourist photo op) and is owned by actress Kelly McGillis, whom I understand is a charming and lovely lady. The food is good, the ambiance perfect and service has always been stellar whenever we have visited.

Not being a fan of Jose Cuervo, we ambled over to “headquarters”, Captain Tony’s Saloon http://www.capttonyssaloon.com/ on Greene Street. Tony passed away in 2008, shortly after our last visit. We were very glad to have been able to see “the old man” one last time that trip. One of my most prized possessions is a picture of Captain Tony and me the day before I married Colin. I was wearing a t-shirt I had purchased there many years before and had Captain Tony sign it. When he asked what I was doing in town, I replied I was being married the next day. He asked to whom and I pointed Colin out. Sizing him up, Tony informed me “I can call him a cab, if you’d like”. Settling for a quick cuddle instead, we had Colin take a picture, which now resides in a frame with the signed t-shirt in my office. I smile every day when I see it.

We did not recognize any of the bar staff or the singer, but sat and enjoyed some music for a while whilst deciding what to do next. Thinking dinner was surely in order, we set off in search of food. I am a picky eater under the best of circumstances, but tired and cranky is not my favorite modality for restaurant searching, so we thought Kelly’s might be just the place.

Walking down Caroline, we came upon Braza Lena http://www.brazalena.com/ a Brazilian barbeque restaurant that was new since our last visit. The cool thing about this type of restaurant is that it is a fixed price for all the meat you can stuff down your neck, so it’s a good place to be picky or very hungry. Not terribly crowded at the time we arrived, we were greeted by a delightful young lady who seated us near the “salad bar extravaganza”. Our waiter was prompt in taking our drink order and explaining the restaurant concept. I’ve eaten in many of this type of place, some good, some not so much. This is somewhere in the middle, but who doesn’t love being fawned over by a bunch of buff guys wearing gaucho boots? Seriously, they were very cute and very, very attentive. I was impressed by the number of families with smallish children in the restaurant. I am not sure why so many people seemed to think spending fifty bucks a head for their children to eat dinner was a good idea, but who am I to judge? Maybe all the kids in Key West were picky and hungry that evening.

Having had as much fun as we cared to in public for one day, we dropped in at the Lost Weekend Liquor Store for some adult beverages and headed back to the room. I think I was asleep by 9 o’clock. Could have been earlier.

Vacation 2010 - Prologue

2010-07-25T13:20:00.003-04:00

The week leading up to vacation this year was fraught with challenges. I was worried about my brother, recovering from knee surgery. Being both male and an athlete, he is not one to complain, so save for a phone call the second day and a couple of “check in” emails, I was not all that sure about his progress, but figuring he’s a grown up with plenty of friends in the area, I had to let that go.

Our pal Rick had decided to take a solo motorcycle trip from Sarasota to Billings MT for some Blue Knights http://www.blueknights.org/ event going on out there. At his age, I am concerned about a long journey, but I also marvel at the man’s energy. I hope I’m as energetic and involved when I retire. We had dinner with him on the 4th and have agreed to watch his house until he returns. We’re considering short sheeting his bed or filling his guest bathroom with helium balloons. Maybe not.

On July 3, dear friends Rachel and Teri were continuing their house hunt and we looked at some properties with them, followed by cocktails and a sunset at their beachfront condo. Their 5 year old was looking a little pale when we arrived back at the condo and his Daddy could not convince him to eat anything. Fortunately, Momma convinced him of the innate curative powers of an orange Popsicle and he perked up a bit after that. He continued to have a sore throat for a few days, but the beach at Lido Key is always good for what ails one. We love visiting with these folks and can’t wait until they are permanent year-round residents so we can see them more often.

In addition to concern for friends and family, we were having technical difficulties. The automatic food and water dishes we’ve used for years to keep the cats fed and watered in our absence were pulled out, cleaned, and the water fountain was discovered to have a motor that no longer functioned. The 4th of July is not always a great shopping day, but PetSmart confirmed they were open and we set out in pursuit of a Drinkwell fountain. On the way, Colin decided to check the tire pressure in the truck. I was very glad he did, as there was a screw embedded in the front left tire. Pep Boys on Cortez Road in Bradenton was open, staff was very helpful, and fixed the tire in short order. Good thing too, since our other car was visiting its brethren at the Audi dealer since Thursday. We had a mechanical issue that required a part not likely to arrive until mid week. Kind of nice having only one car in the garage, but not so nice having only one option for transportation.

Our dear friend and neighbor, Pool Boy Bill, the beach bum with a gorgeous tan who sits by the pool all day (when he is not working one of his two jobs) agreed to cat sit for us yet again and we were certain the cats were in good hands until he asked if there was anything in the house he could not sell at the garage sale he had planned for while we were gone. He explained that the best way he could think to deal with the cats would be to have a sale and give away one cat with every major furniture purchase. Our Bill is an enterprising guy. Actually, he is the best neighbor one could ask for and has been there for us through all kinds of challenges and bad weather. Plus, the kitties love to party with “Uncle Bill”.

Doing one last load of laundry on Sunday afternoon, we discovered the washing machine was not draining water and smelled like there was a burned out belt. Since it was the comforter we use to cover the guest bed (the cats think it is their bed and love to sleep there and drop fur and dander – a comforter is easier to clean than sending a very expensive bedspread to the cleaners every couple of weeks – but this looked like it could be an ugly and expensive problem.) Undaunted, we pulled the still soaking comforter from the washer, unplugged the machine, and headed out to Wal Mart for a new bed cover. You can only do so many creative things in one day, and I was beyond my limit already. All our missions accomplished for the weekend, we headed off to bed.

Ramon, the world’s most elegant kitten (though he is five years old now) decided he needed a cuddle at 430 AM on Monday, July 5. After about a half hour of that, I decided to get up. Realizing there was still water in the washer and it would likely begin to smell, I pulled out a bucket and small bowl and bailed water from the forlorn appliance until I could not bail any more. Sent a few emails, including one to my brother who immediately responded with “What are you doing up at this hour?” I guess it was not a good night for sleeping for anyone.

Vacation 2010

2010-07-25T13:20:00.001-04:00

Once again, I have spent a year thinking about blogging and not actually doing it. Maybe its something to do with being on vacation, but I woke up the Saturday before we left with some dialogue for a story running through my head, something that rarely happens to me in my “real world”. That story will probably be on the back burner for several more years (we don’t take that many vacations), but I did manage to keep some notes on our trip. I hope you like the travelogue. We are not very creative when it comes to vacations, but we are pretty high intensity people when we are working, so vacations are just for relaxation. Think of a toddler you know who functions at a hundred miles per hour, right up until they fall asleep in the middle of the living room floor. That is my metaphor for us on vacation. Enjoy!

Vacation travelogue

2009-07-08T14:41:00.000-04:00

This has nothing to do with software, analysis, business, or even real estate; and you could hardly consider it a rant, but I am trying to get a start at this blogging thing, so please consider this “practice”. Thanks for the indulgence.

Last week, we took our annual anniversary week vacation. Rather than Key West, which is customary for us, we decided to stay closer to home. We had won a two night stay at the Siesta Key Bungalows http://www.siestakeybungalows.com/ in a charity silent auction and decided to stay “home” and enjoy the local area. The 1950s era construction of the compound has held up remarkably well, save for some unevenness in our floor of our unit. Complete with a full kitchen, our one bedroom, one bath unit sat directly on Heron Lagoon. In fact, while enjoying the sundeck off the kitchen, you look out over some mangroves and directly on to the water. Very close indeed. The compound also has a lovely fountain, paver brick walkways and a very nice pool.

Wednesday, it was pouring down rain all day – we thought we were in Knoxville or Portland or one of those notoriously rainy places. Undaunted, we decided to venture out to the village in the evening for dinner. After slogging through some pretty deep standing water, we arrived at Siesta Key Oyster Bar (SKOB to the locals) and had a reasonably good dinner. The chowder was OK, Colin’s fish tacos were perfectly done and I had the crab legs special. Slightly over-seasoned, but in all a nice meal. The band started and we were afraid it would be yet another troupe of Jimmy Buffett wannabes. We were very pleasantly surprised. It think they were called “Kettle of Fish”. We’d see them again on purpose. Stopped at Beach Bazzar to pick up swim trunks for Colin - as he had neglected to pack his, and a new straw cowboy hat for me – as we were on vacation, after all.

Since he had pulled a muscle lifting groceries Wednesday morning, we picked up some Ben Gay on our way out to the key. What a romantic evening slathering Ben Gay on my husband’s poor painful back.

Thursday was bright and clear in the morning. Spent several hours poolside looking at the cocoanut palms and the lagoon. It felt like a Corona commercial. Out to Captain Curt’s for lunch. They really do have awesome chowder. Nice oysters, too. Caught ice and sodas and headed back to the room to enjoy the lagoon and deck and read for a while. Dinner at Turtles was considerably less than stellar, but the view was spectacular.

Since Colin had a bad time with the tee-tiny bed the night before, we decided to head home for a bottle of wine and a cigar for him on our lovely lanai lit by twinkle lights. Not to mention our very firm king-sized bed.

It seems like each time we go away from home, we come back early for one reason or another and we always conclude that Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz was correct. There really is no place like home…